At the beginning of last year I created a few goals for myself but also undertook to embrace certain ‘stances’ or behavior changes that I believed would shift my living to a higher level of fulfillment and ultimately towards a continual state of well being, bliss. Besides laying claim towards the authentic ME. To date my level of existence has shifted drastically and I am travelling in an awesome space in so far that I felt that I would like share one of my stances with you in this post and to give you some insight as how it has worked for me by giving practical examples.
The idea is then for you to consider taking on a specific stance for yourself by putting it in to practice with the intention of shifting you current living to a higher level of creation and fulfillment. When one makes a change with regards to a habit it has a knack of impacting other areas of your life as well. Think about giving up smoking how this can impact other areas, health, well being, relationships etc.
Here is my sharing.
TO CLAIM MY EMOTIONAL VOICE: When I look back on my life journey the last few years I have found that it appears that I have not bonded with what I am REALLY feeling, especially the perceived ‘negative’ emotions i.e. sadness, anger, disillusionment, etc. “I” the happy go lucky, energised, positive being just steamed rolled over these emotions saying ‘that there is no time to deal with issues, it is my story, I may appear needy, blah blah. Yet at a point I realised that I needed to own both sides of who I am. The perceived good/bad, negative/positive , dependant/dependant (hectic) So I undertook with SELF to actually stop and feel what I was feeling irrespective of what it was, and then to embrace it for what it was, instead of just steam rolling over it. So I committed to spend time owning exactly what I was feeling and FEELING ‘IT’. Additional this I could then decided what to do about what I was actually feeling.
During this learning curve I found instances where I was saying “it is fine”, or “it is all cool” when in actual fact I was actually feeling the opposite i.e really angry, disappointed, upset, sad etc. (Ha you to?? Lol ) In most of these incidents I then chose to go back to the person concerned and really expressing the truth of what I was really feeling. Knowing that what I feel has nothing to do with anyone else but it is about ME. (Liberating awareness) So this stance has been extremely liberating in the sense I have laid claim to what I feel and have also been able to take back my personal power. WOW.
With this stance I am also more aware that the feeling that I choose to own is totally mine. It is just a feeling and the story behind it, is my story. With this I have also been able to embrace my own self awareness, in the sense of now being able to explore how this emotion is attached to my story because now I am looking at the real foundation and not the false/pretended emotion.
The type of questions I would then explore towards my SELF AWARENESS would play itself out as follows: . I feel angry because…………happened … and this makes me feel ……..What story are you having ?…. Then I ask myself is this the truth or just my truth? i then finally ask myself what do I intend doing about how I feel?
Here is an example.. I feel angry because my partner was late for our planned outing. My story starts me thinking that this action makes me feel so unimportant and that our relationship is meaningless! Or I am never important enough…. So now I question myself on this story.
Lyndel what happened ? He is late and I feel sad. What story are you having Lyndel? I don’t mean anything in the relationship and he does not care? Lyndel is this the truth? (embarrassingly I say NO ) So Lyndel what is the real truth ? What is the reality Lyndel? The reality is that I am important and worthy and that this is a caring and meaningful relationship.
The only reality at the moment is that “ he is late and that I am sad.. YES…So now what do you intend doing about it.. I choose to let it go and to enjoy the evening, or I intent talking to him about it.
Notice how this self awareness dialogue with SELF puts one in a place of creation and not ‘victim’ mode.(or sulk mode) ps at least when I now say ‘all is cool’ I know that it is so..
The impact of this behavioral change made me feel authentic and I bonded with my truth. This had a positive impact on my self esteem, self confidence, relationship improvement but most importantly for me it was making a stand for my greatness.
So the invitation for you is to lay claim to your own EMOTIONAL VOICE and SELF AWARENESS.